Apostles Creed in TRUE evolutionary nationalized form

Since the nation is obviously more important than the church in God’s design, I propose a new creed to replace the Apostle’s Creed so often affirmed by many of our churches that knuckle under to nationalism.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
the Creator of the United States,
and giver of the Constitution, the second most heavenly document (though most practically
relevant one for daily life) on earth,
which provides an unparalleled moral code in its original form
that is only properly interpreted by fundamentalist “Christians”:

America was conceived of the Holy Spirit,
born of mercantilism and colonization,
suffered under King George,
shed the shackles of British imperialism,
brought the land and its native inhabitants to their respective knees,
and became the pure city on a hill,
spreading the message of enlightenment and democracy to the uneducated masses,
and is worthy of the sacrifice of my life for its vision and ensuring of present status as top dog.

America has descended into the hands of liberals.
But through an emphasis on proper moral values,
the appointment of proper judges that know the aforementioned values,
and proper legislation that reflects those values,
will recover again.

America will retain its moral and physical position on top of the heap
and continue to sit at the right hand of God the Father Almighty,
in continuing objectivity judging the living and the dead.

I believe in the American Spirit,
the holy rite of citizenship,
the message of freedom,
the beauty of materialism and individualism,
the sacrifice of my life for national and cultural goals
and life everlasting in submission to these goals regardless of my commitment to Christ.

Amen.

P.s. Feel free to amend this Creed to your individual nation-state as well…as long as you recognize that subjective creed is subordinate to (and derivative from) the objective American Creed. After all, Jesus came to fragment the world into a series of groupings of those in his church that are committed to the interests of their individual nations first and foremost. America is simply on top of the heap by providence

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